Mom Consulting Network

There are three factors to returning to the workforce after being home:

1. How long you were home (<3 years seems to have little impact on workforce reentry)
2. The state of the economy when you re-enter
3. The network of connections + work projects/job skills you developed while at home

I have been home with my kids for six years (did minimal/no work for the first couple of years and have gradually ramped up my hours since then). I have no gaps in my resume and have good client relationships so I could probably get a full-time job pretty easily.

I have been a reference for three moms using my LLC; all have gotten hired because they can show significant work projects and time (2+ years for one of them) plus the LLC on their resume looks legit as opposed to just working for Kathy. I would love for the moms in the consulting network to replicate this model by continuing to hire each other and be references so those of us with older children build back up to full-time work.

If you are considering staying home, you might want to check out this excellent Washington Post discussion on returning to work after being at home.

Kathy Zucker

My answer:

Absolutely, the Mom Consulting Network is for you! We tend to have three types of members:

1. Parents getting started with working part-time (either leaving full-time corporate jobs or else getting stir-crazy from being home with the kids)
2. Parents who are “launched” ie. have functional business models and are fully tapped-out in terms of clients and availability (ie. me)
3. Parents who are going for the big-time with home-based businesses (ie. we have two moms with Harvard MBAs who are running their own hedge fund out of their Hoboken condos. With $10 million under management, they are looking to rent space and hire an investment associate.)

With parents at all these different career stages, we can both mentor and be mentored plus share useful tips as we move through our lives as parents and professionals. I always say, there but for the grace of God go I. I am grateful to have the support of so many talented and highly qualified people at my fingertips.

Kathy

Short-term freelance job editing non-fiction document for scientific researcher, needs to be completed within next month. Perfect for a mom looking to do some work during toddler naps, details at http://momconsulting.shutterfly.com/89, member login required.

A startup alternative asset manager investing in specialized real-estate related fixed income instruments, based in Hoboken, is looking for an investment associate. This is a great way to maintain your career but still be near your kids in case of an emergency.

No finance or real estate experience is required. Position details at http://momconsulting.shutterfly.com/85, member login required.

Crossposted from http://momcondoliving.com/2011/08/30/qa-from-mom-considering-working-from-home/

Q. Have you thought about working from home as a way to stay near your children?

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My answer:

I’ve been working part-time from home for the last 6 years (while I was pregnant with my daughter). I was a marketing director for 10 years before then, first in finance and then at a hospital. So my first consulting clients were in healthcare (my old hospital, a medical association and a non-profit healthcare advocacy group). I had a babysitter one day a week (used it for meetings & conference calls) and did the rest of my work on evenings, nights and weekends.

The wacky thing is I thought I was starting a healthcare marketing company, but I wound up going in directions I never would have thought of. I am now a principal in media and beverage companies, specializing in marketing and strategic planning. I work three days a week and of course, evenings.

Rule #1 is I never, ever spend more than I earn on babysitting. You need to figure out how many hours you can work each week, how much you need to earn, and then you can back into what you do and when you do it. Working from home has been a great way for me to balance work and family life, especially since my husband’s career has become much more intense and demanding over time. I make a decent amount of money but can always set work aside when I have a sick kid or endless snow days like last winter.

There are 175 members in the Hoboken Mom Consulting Network who are all at various stages of working for themselves. We have monthly networking luncheons (food provided, discounted daycare & parking available), the next one is on Friday 9/9 if you want to come to bounce ideas off other moms and see if they know of opportunities that might be a good fit. Details are at http://momconsulting.shutterfly.com/82, member login required.

Kathy

Immediate start, pay rate plus contact information at http://momconsulting.shutterfly.com/83, member login required.

Couldn’t make it to the Mom Consulting Network luncheon? Check out the HD videos of the moms introducing themselves and the facilitated discussion on life balance for working moms with expert speaker Karin Stewart of Daily Mastery. Signup sheet & videos at http://momconsulting.shutterfly.com/73, login required.

Next Mom Consulting Network luncheon is on Friday 6/10, details on member-only site!

Hi Kathy.  I’m having major anxiety about leaving my son and thought of you because I imagine you went through this.

I never ever thought I would feel this way. I’m angry that school cost so much. I’m angry that these loans leave me with no choices. I’m angry that I paid 150k for a degree and make as much money as people who only got their undergrad degree. What’s the point? All I’m left with is loans and no choices…yes, a career I like too, but who says I wouldn’t like others?  My friend’s husband is here from Brazil making 90k as a graphic designer. I mean, seriously?!  Why go to law school then?

I’m thinking of asking to work a four day work week. It kills me in a way bc I have to take a pay cut and the feminist inside me is cringing, but I want to see my son. I’m just worried about what it will do to my career. I’m also worried about it financially because although we can afford it, a 20 percent cut puts me back to what I made 2 yrs out of law school.

I also don’t know if my firm will even go for it. It’s never been done.  We tout work/life balance and being a family friendly firm, so we will see if they live up to it. Two women work from home one day a week, but one is a partner and the other has been there 8 years.  Plus, I want a day off (not to work one day from home). I have thought about asking for a day off AND work one day from home.  It’s scary to ask for that much.

I never ever thought I’d love something this much. I just don’t want to look back and have missed everything. I don’t want to just have bath time and bedtime with him.

This is so difficult. Why cant we have more choices? When women were burning their bras, they certainly weren’t nursing bras, huh?

Did you struggle with this at all?  I know financially you were in a different place because you planned so well. My son wasn’t supposed to come this soon. We were supposed to start a family in a few years. I’m glad he’s here of course, but I just wish I were in a different spot in my career.

Ugh.

S.

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My response:

YES. 1000x yes.

I never, ever thought I would stay home. I never thought I would WANT to stay home. We certainly never planned for me to stay home. We just happened to be lucky enough to have no debt & 100k in cash lying around so as the months passed and I stressed about going back to work, my husband could say, “So don’t go back.”

I couldn’t believe it when he said that. I had been stressing for months about how it would all work out (my usual mental imaging of what I would do on a typical work day, and it wasn’t pretty) but I couldn’t be the one to say it. and my feminist family freaked out. My mom thought I was wasting my education by staying home.

But I just couldn’t leave my daughter. In addition to not being able to handle the time and stress issues of having a newborn plus working full-time, it killed me to have someone else raise her. What was the point of working so fracking hard if someone else experienced all her firsts? My friend’s kids cry for the nanny on weekends; she told me she doesn’t take them both out in the car by herself because she can’t handle it, and the younger one is already 18 months old. When is she going to be able to handle them both, when they are in college?

Every single mom I know goes through this. Every one. I don’t think anybody ever understands what it feels like until they have a baby. If I had known I was going to stay home and how financially hard it would be, I would have saved 3x as much before I had kids. Even the most ambitious women suddenly stop caring about getting promoted, preferring to work reasonable hours instead so they can actually see their kid(s). I try not to be judgmental with my childless friends and tell them they are wasting money that they will regret later, but they are. Spa visits, vacations, even personal grooming like hair coloring and cuts. All that stuff was sacrificed to the cuts necessary for me to stay home and NOT use up our savings, although I really should have relaxed a bit to hire the occasional babysitter since that would have helped take some pressure off my husband, especially after the second baby. Also, I had no luck finding an occasional babysitter; tried hiring Stevens students but they always flaked out & didn’t show.

I had no idea what I was doing when I stayed home. I figured my career was essentially over, or best case scenario, permanently stalled. The best I could hope for was to go back at the same level as when I left. Meanwhile, I followed my former colleagues on LinkedIn and watched them advance to vice president level, move to other hospitals, and generally leave me in the dust. It was depressing.

It was a huge shock to discover that I am actually really good at being an entrepreneur.

This is why I started the Mom Consulting Network; because I wanted to give other moms the opportunity to keep their careers alive and possibly build businesses that could enable them to stay home long-term. The Mom Expo is turning out to be such a success that I am planning to incorporate and give stock options to the other moms working with me on the expo committee; I’m going to be a CEO, who knew?

Ask your company for a 4-day week. The worst thing that happens is they say no. Just try. Finding work-life balance is never easy; you will always stress about neglecting your career or your family. I read a great article a while ago that said, moms today have found they can have it all, just not at the same time. Very apt.

I think you really capture the angst new moms experience when it’s time to go back to work. Maybe it will be a wakeup call for women planning to have families.

Kathy

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5/18 Update:

I heard back from this mom, and her company said no to the four-day week. She was “devastated” and said, “Why is it all or nothing?  This is why women leave the work force.”

My response:

Sigh. That really sucks. I was hoping they would grant your request and give you peace of mind.

I think that men truly don’t get it. Most of the men at the top of their professions have stay-at-home wives. My husband used to give me a hard time about working until I tweeted an article about moms working in the middle of the night. Now he thinks all moms are crazy

I feel like starting a movement; if moms are the major household purchasers, then we should only do business with other moms. Only if men HAVE to partner with moms to get business will they start appreciating a mom’s perspective instead of brushing it off.

I actually already do that; the accounting firm my association uses is call the Condo Queens and all the employees are all flexible part-time moms. They are incredibly capable and are cheaper than the competition.

I was very impressed by your legal skills when I met you at the last network luncheon. You are clearly a good lawyer. Try not to get this get you down. But yes, we need to change the way employers operate. Women are excellent at communication and collaboration. You could totally share your position with another mom (one works 2 days & another 3 days). The benefits might cost more, but probably not more than training a new employee.

If I ever get to the point where my companies are worth millions of dollars and we need to hire expensive legal representation, I will insist that the firm we choose allows for flexible part-time work for parents. Money talks, and sometimes that is the only thing employers will listen to.

I am sorry you have to deal with this now.

Kathy